Backyard Predators & Prey Episode #2

Now, for another thrilling episode of Predators and Prey!
The happy birds were flittering around, eating and having a good breakfast, flying from one cage to the other, diving in to nibble at the suet cups, and getting a quick peck at the bird seed - though most of it was being tossed on the ground. I was in the kitchen, making their next batch of Yummy Suet.
While I was slaving over this suet, waiting for the fat to melt, I heard this rather odd... scraping noise. Not sure what it was, I went to look out the window. That damn squirrel (there are three in the yard, not sure which one) was in the suet cage. I tapped on the window and yelled for it to get down. It pretty much dropped to the ground. I didn't see it anywhere and figured it ran off - back to suet making.
Once more, I heard that stupid noise. When I went to look, lo and behold... IT WAS BACK! THAT pissed me off. Rushing to the back door, I quietly unlocked it and the screen (can't have too much security around here). Opening it quickly, I dashed out, running at the furry thief, yelling - like the devil done possessed my soul - at the top of my lungs. It scrambled to get down and I almost... almost was close enough to step on the damn thing. It freaked out. Wasn't sure in which direction to run. I guess it's not used to people literally running at it.
It darted through the yard, then stopped, turned around, stood on its hind legs and cussed me out. I was like, "Oh, that's how you want this?" I hauled ass after it again, letting it know who the boss is! Once more it took off like a bat out of hell to one of the trees. Psh! That'll teach that bugger not to talk to me like that... I'll show it!
Of course, there go any invitation to block parties, neighbors cooking out, Halloween parties... because any of our neighbors looking out were probably like, "kids, stay away from the house on the corner. That bitch looks crazy!"
Stay tuned next time for another exciting episode! 😜